johncbenjamin.com Blog

I struggled with alcohol abuse for many years I won’t go into any reasons as to why for me I had no problem drinking and over time had built up such a tolerance to alcohol that it took more and more to maintain. My problem came when I would try to stop. I became physically ill I realized the toll alcohol was taking on me and knew I needed help.I met a man one day who was in recovery and he gave me the number for AA I knew I had nothing to lose and I called, within 5 minutes someone called me back and after a few minutes talking to this stranger, he convinced me to go to a meeting he even offered to pick me up. I was impressed with his sincere concern I told him that I was still using alcohol and he reassured me that it didn’t matter and the important thing was I go to a meeting. He picked me up and I told him I was scared and did not want to participate only check out what was happening. The meeting was a speaker meeting and upon arrival I was immediately impressed with the people I met no judging just a sincere interest in my getting better. After attending 2 meetings I felt compelled to get treatment. I checked into detox then a 28 day treatment program. the program was heavily based on the 12 steps and AA.

I came to the conclusion that AA was too much religion with no science.

After treatment I was told I needed to attend 90 meeting in ninety days ( I knew that was not going to happen) I did attend a variety of meetings searching for one that would appeal to me. Regardless of what type of meeting the underlying theme was the same We are told
We have a disease
We are powerless
We need to pray.
It became clear to me that this was a religious experience, only the prophets are some drunks from the thirties who got together and the book they wrote the AA Bible(the big book) and instead of 10 commandments the 12 steps.
Philosophically I can’t agree with these teachings, Its not a disease it a medical disorder or condition brought on by continued consumption of alcoholic beverages despite health problems and negative social consequences

I have adapted the 12 steps into my own interpretation of what worked for me

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